Yesterday I had a dream about a kid in a dream.
He was all alone; and had a certain gaze as he looked out into the horizon.
He was waiting for someone. The sun never set in this dream. So he stared until his eyes burnt. He didn’t cry, he didn’t speak. He just waited.
I slowly walked up to him and waited beside him. He never looked to me, not even when I waved my hand in front of his eyes. His gaze was set; he wouldn’t be deterred. I remember I admired him for that. I remember smiling for him, even as I walked away with my burnt eyes.
i thought i’d be rich by now.
i was certain of it somehow. it’s like that feeling you get when you’re dreaming and you know you’re about to wake up. the way your alarm seeps into your dream, painting itself onto your images. only to wake up; frightened by the sudden blaring of your phone beside your head.
a reality check of sorts. stop signs.
simple things that govern more than what you know. more than what you feel, and more than what you can describe.
the science of where we are, dictates where we will go. in basic terms, it’s up to me. up to you.
i feel proud of what i’ve accomplished, i feel as though life has a way of rewarding those who work hard. the high school version of me never understood that. maybe that’s why i can’t remember what that must’ve been like.
seeing photos of a younger me is odd. i can’t remember most of it. a vessel with my eyes, my face and likeness. a different part of me.
the fiction side of me.